My Useless Warning Page

Wouldn't it be neat if you saw more warnings like these?

In a bathroom:

Please do not leave lobsters in the toilets for more than fifteen minutes without flushing. Lobsters, which are marsupials, cannot breathe unless water is moving past their gills.

On the space shuttle:

Please don't leave used condomns in the ashtrays.

In a shower:

Please return produce to the upright, locked position after bathing.

Left on the refrigerator by a roommate:

If you can't keep that sheep quiet, it'll have to go.

In a hotel lobby:

Please return prosthetics to the front desk before checking out.

Anywhere:

After 10 P.M., all stoats must be firmly buckled.

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